Not impressed

I guess I thought I'd be doing better by now, but I have since gotten up to 9-6point 8, then hovering around 9-5 and 9-5 point 8 which I was this morning.

I'm absolutely terrified of putting on weight. If I don't lose weight two weeks in a row, then I am in trouble. I feel like I am in trouble.

I need to lose a bit more weight.

My dentist wants to start some work, but won't start until I agree that my weight loss has stopped and that my weight will remain stable

I really really really want to lose another stone before I decide this is where I am happy to be. But weight is coming off so slowly - or not at all, in the last few weeks.

Back to basics
Back to basics
Back to basics

I know what I have to do, it is just doing it that is hard!

Had to post this

Had to post this picture.

But look at my ankles???? What do I do??

Do you think liposuction would work?

More reflections on the past

In 1999 I'd been dieting all my life. Can't remember when I first started using Slim Fast, but in 1999 I splashed out £18-99 on something called "Fat Magnets" - Chitosan.

I remember asking the very slim shop assistant if they worked and she just looked down her nose at me and said "I wouldn't know" with as much distaste as she could muster. I was 12 stone 6, BMI 27. Hardly disgustingly fat.

It didn't work.

About a year later and a stone heavier hit on the idea of eating prepacked (and not cheap!)Weightwathchers Ready Meals.

Didn't lose much weight

In May 2002, weight 194 pounds ( or 13 stone 12) I finally cracked and bought Xenical Online. Cost me a fortune (can't remember now, but they weren't cheap at all).

I remember the relief flooding over my whole body when I realised that I was finally going to be thin. The battle was finally over, it was not longer up to me or to will power. A lttle blue pill was going to fix it)

If only it were that simple. There are no easy ways to fight obesity.

WOW

I know I'll probably go up a little again, but today I was shocked and delighted to be NINE STONE FIVE (point 2) POOUNDS.

That is very very very light for me; and gets me with 3 lbs of the weight I was when I got married nearly 19 yrs ago.

No other diet or weight loss program has ever taken me near this. (Well I did get down to 9-3 15 yrs ago, but then I'd only got up to 11stone to start with at that point, and it didnt' last long) (checked my diary: on 6th April 1994 was down to 9 stone 6; not 9-3)

So I am now lighter than I was nearly 15 yrs ago

I thought I'd have gained weight cos my eating has not been great - pistachio nuts for protein; tortilla chips and dip cos I like it, lots and lots of water, and the odd glass of wine or bar of chocolate. Combined with a fair bit of food not staying down I guess

Not the healthy option.but worth it for the magic numbers on the scale.

Starting exercise next week; a little nervous; more than a lttle. Scared I'll collapse through being so unfit, or faint cos I have low blood pressure. And irrationally that I'll put on weight cos muscle weighs more than fat; though I doubt I can gain that much muscle. And that I'll be hungrier after exercise and therefore eat more and gain weight.

It is just hard to believe that I am actually this thin. . .

Update

My laptop is playing up - the touch pad is not working and my "old" mouse (which was a new improved version) isn't working either. But I pinched a mouse from one of the kids' PCs and here I am

Since I last posted my weight went up to 9-10.8, then down again last night (yay!) to 9-7.6, so I am slowly moving down. Not sure that I'll lose much this month, but every little helps.

My restriction is mostly quite good. Or bad, I mean severe. I don't often go out so I am usually at home and pbing doesn't mean too much, it's not a big deal.

Went away for the night to a friend's house, and realised how often I need to be careful or I *would* pb. Thankfully she knows about my op and didn't worry when I excused myself to the bathroom once or twice. But I didn't manage to eat a lot while I was there.

Makes me realise that if I kept off snacks and grazing (she's a three meals day and no snacks type) I'd lose weight a lot more quickly.

I'm pleased how much weight I've lost, but no idea how much weight I'd like to lose eventually. I also have no idea how I am going to cope with getting to the maintenance stage of a gastric band.

And I know I have to up my exercise a lot.

Woo Hoooooo!

This morning, no clothes on, I was nine stone nine point four pounds. That is lighter than I've been for years and years and years.

Seems like another psychological barrier has gone, getting below 9-1o/9-11, both which seemed to me like I was about to shoot up to ten stone again any minute.

I know from past experience it is two steps forward, one back; so maybe tomorrow I'll be 9-10 or 9-11 again, but I hope I am slowly inching my way towards goal.

Excited? Yes. I am irrationally thrilled at losing a few ounces. Which is all it is really, a pound is only 16 ounces. But it means a lot to me to be 135+ pounds.

Wow, better than 212 which is the highest I think I got to. (15 stone 3)

I love my gastric band :-))))))))))))))