Wednesday 31 March 2010

Stress and bands

Stress tightens my band - and life is stressed right now. Not in a too-bad-too-personal way (no death or divorce, grin) but I am caring for elderly relatives one of whom is moving to a care home, the other hospitalised, and I seem to spend 2 hrs a day on the telephone checking up and chasing up doctors etc.



And it is stressful - to the extent, lol that I spent all of last night dreaming about hospitals and care homes! And with that stress my band likes to tighten itself a few notches. So I'm basically on fluids only - well, I've managed a little chicken earlier on today and I'm eating a packet of crisps as I type, but I've pb'd a little bit of the crisps and it's taking me half an hour to eat a packet (in the bad old pre-band days I could eat a multipack in half an hour)

Didn't finish this post the other day - things are still busy and my band is still tight. Have an appt next week to see if I need a tiny bit out if things haven't settled.

I feel like it's not very fair to my band to keep fiddling with it, since the stress is not my band's fault, but on the other hand, living on soup, soft cheese and hot chocolate is getting a bit tiring.


I'm loath to get a defill since I realise that this isn't the fault of my band, but more of my life!

Monday 29 March 2010

Mondays

The best thing (maybe the only good thing, lol) about Mondays is that most of the bandster blogs I follow get updated over the weekend. I'm not online on Sundays, so by the time it gets to Monday in the UK I have lots of blogs to catch up on. Not, of course, that I don't have lots of other things to do to, it being Monday and all that, but today, these things can wait till I've had a long read of what all my favorite bandsters are up to.

Today is ds3's birthday, and in keeping with a family tradition, we all get the day off (except dh and ds1 who have to go to work). Now all I have to do is try not to eat too much birthday cake!

Weigh in this morning was miserable - 9 stone 12.4. How can anyone have 2 days' starvation, a colonoscopy and still gain 2.4 pounds?? I guess it is possible. Maybe I should buy new scales, grin.

Friday 26 March 2010

Done and dusted plus NSV

Colonoscopy over and all clear, thankfully. I had a general anaesthetic - I hate them, but I also could not bear the thought of a colonscopy under "sedation" - given that the last time I was not remotely sedated, and felt every ugly part of the procedure.

I am glad to be home, and surprisingly, not that hungry. I had a few cups of coffee and some soup when I got back to my room, but couldn't face the sandwiches (I never can eat bread) and only ate one of the biscuits.


Since getting home I've had the run of the fridge, but honestly don't feel hungry - great side effect off a GA, I guess. (I realise it is probably because of the great big tube that was stuck down my throat - she offered to show me it while she was prepping me for surgery, and I said yes, I'd like to see it - then promptly wished I hadn't - it looked far worse than it looks on medical dramas on TV! It is still quite sore to swallow, so I'll stick to fluids while I can.)

Despite yesterday's starvation and all the "preparation" I had to drink, when I weighed myself this morning I had put on a pound!!!! Talk about adding insult to injury . . . however, I am putting it down to water weight (I must have had four or five litres to drink yesterday) and hoping that when I do my weekly weigh in next week I'll be rewarded with a least a small loss.

At this stage (BMI normal) it is so much harder to lose weight (esp since I've been off exercise for the last few weeks, pending medical investigations), so that even 0.5 of a pound loss is good news.

Oh before I forget, I had a lovely NSV today. . . .

There I was all gowned up (you know how attractive - not - hospital gowns are), lying on a trolley (gurney) waiting to be put to sleep, and the anaesthetist started looking for a vein in the back of my hand. I have non-compliant veins so it took her a little while, and she remarked, "oh, another one - all my ladies this morning have been so petite" - Petite??? No one has ever ever called me that before, lol, not even as a new born baby. I was so thrilled I might have hugged her if I hadn't been lying down half dressed and attached to various monitors.

I do have quite slim hands I guess, but yeay, I like being "petite" (even though at nearly 5 ft 7 it is never going to be the truth, it made me feel good)

Thursday 25 March 2010

Hungry

(This is how I feel)

It's been an odd day, drinking coffee, squash and laxative preparations. Thankfully I have not had to do anything at all, other than watch TV and surf the internet. I'm grateful to my dear daughter (dd) for cooking the family's meals today - not sure than I could have coped in the kitchen without eating something.



I feel really weak right now, but otherwise relatively ok. It's a long time since I spent a day without any form of food whatsoever (even post fill when I am on fluids only I have things like soup, which today I can't have)



Am going to have a bath and an early night. And will no doubt dream of food!

Time out




(These are not pics of me - but of the results I'd like to get - the before pic is the second one, I couldn't get blogger to oblige me by switiching them round. This pics are taken from my surgeons' website)
I'm having a day off today, since I'm on starvation diet and will soon be rushing to and fro the bathroom. Nice to have a day off - not so nice to have it for this reason. However, it means I get a chance to do lots of blog reading and to catch up with editing photos and writing emails. I don't intend to do anything at all physical - couch potato to the core :-) I might stretch to doing some online shopping, but nothing more strenuous!

Wednesday 24 March 2010

Another week

Another week since I posted. I was down to 9 stone 10 last time I weighed, though I have high hopes of being less next week - not least because tomorrow I am not allowed to eat any food at all (only clear fluids) pre colonscopy; then on Friday I won't be allowed to eat until after the procedure.

And today I'm on a restricted diet of (band friendly) slider foods - biscuits, butter, cream, soft chicken, mashed potatoes. No fibre.

So I am hoping the enforced starvation will help the scales (trying to put a positive spin on it, there really isn't anything positive at all about enforced starvation!)

I am already feeling very sorry for myself. I get to drink lots of laxative laden fluid tomorrow, and am warned to "stay near a bathroom". Hmmmm, like anyone wouldn't?

In other news, I have decided to (as in finally booked) have a face lift. No one but me thinks it is at all necessary, but it's my face and my life, and why not? So I'll be heading off to Belgium at the end of April. I will take plenty of photos - not sure I'll have the courage to post them here.

Hope everyone is well in BandsterLand - Catherine, you've been MIA for a bit - busy with work? Bunny, you've disappeared again too . . ?

Wednesday 17 March 2010

Doing ok

Thought I was having a bad week, and to be honest, have had a few too many slider foods. . . but when I got on the scales this evening, fully clothed, they were kind - so I'm hoping that tomorrow morning (I am always lighter in the morning) they will be extra kind.

I don't normally weigh myself at night, nor dressed, but I was tidying up in the lounge and found that one of my teenage daughters (I have two) had moved the scales in there, so I took a deep breath and jumped on, "just to check".

Yeay for a better result than I expected (I didn't expect much: getting rid of the last ten pounds is so so so hard, believe me. But heck, I'd rather be battling the last ten pounds, than battling the other 80 odd pounds I've lost)

And Happy St Patrick's Day to all the Irish out there (I have a great-great-grandmother who was Irish - and two parents who are Celtic Scottish), hope you had a great day, and enjoyed the green beer.

Cheers everyone!

Monday 15 March 2010

Cousin Bioring

I checked on the WLS Info Forum; and Jacqui who was banded five yrs ago by my doctor, said, " . that the band type (the Cousin Bioring) due to it's high placement and the fact that it is considered a "soft" band has had no reported erosions and no reported slippages since he started placing them 6 years ago. "

That is good news, however, I don't want to be the first :-)

Saturday 13 March 2010

Brand New Roo

Just some hugs to Roo (www.abrandnewroo.blogspot.com) living in the Middle East, who was banded in August and when she went for another fill, found out that her port has flipped - and it's going to cost $1200 to fix, and she can't have a fill before then.

Ouch. Sorry for you hun. Hope you get this fixed soon and get back on the losing track. (She has an amazing photo of her port movement and the attempts to do her last fill)

Friday 12 March 2010

Ouch

Having a stressful time - not band related. Dh's parents are unwell, and we live a long way away and it has meant a lot of work, phone calls and worry. Might not sound much, but for us, it has been a really tough time . . .And along with stress comes band tightening and this week I've not had the *sense* to go back to fluids for a couple of days, and I've been pbing too much

Right now my stomach just *aches* from a few pbs this evening. I am hungry but can't seem to find any food that stays down. And not much fluid either.

The pb cycle is bad. I eat too much or too fast; then I pb; stomach gets swollen; less food can go down; I'm stressed;I'm hungry - feels like I am starving; I eat too much or too fast; so I pb . . . and so it goes on.

Going to stick to fluids tomorrow, I promise. . .

I read on the Weight Loss Forum that in the six yrs since my surgeon has been fitting my type of band, there have been NO reported case (anywhere in the world) of that type of band slipping or eroding. That makes me feel a bit better right now, cos otherwise I think I'd be sure my band was about to explode :-(

Off to sleep now, and tomorrow is another day. I need to de-stress and give my poor stomach a rest.

Good luck to everyone - and I wouldn't like to worry any new or prospective bandsters, this isn't usual. I'm unusually stressed, and my eating right now is unusually bad.

In the pre band days I'd have eaten non stop, and then some more. That isn't possible any more, thankfully.

Tuesday 9 March 2010

LOL


Lol.


Today I had to see a colorectal surgeon - long story, bad family history, the odd symptom, but no, I don't think I have any major issues. Despite all that, I do have to have a battery of tests and will no doubt whine loudly about them as they come along.

(And in case anyone wants to offer me some sympathy, I have to have a colonoscopy, an endoanal ultrasound, pelvic floor physiology as well as a proctogram. That is probably TMI. . .)

The doctor I saw today was very nice and sounded quite reasonable about my band (they always ask what previous surgery I've had, I have to tell them all about childhood illnesses, etc - and then I have to tell them bout my band). He asked how much weight I'd lost and said very genuinely "well done, good for you" - rather than the rolling of eyes and "OMG *why*???" that I sometimes get from medical professionals.

And he nodded knowingly when I said I'd gone to Belgium for surgery, which is again and improvement on how a lot of doctors in the UK react (they usually do the shock horror, you went abroad? thing)




Anyway, he had me lie down so he could feel my tummy, checking for any abnormal swellings, etc. All was fine till he came to my port - which is very close to the surface and very obvious. He felt it, scowled, tried again, squinted, pressed it again, peered very closely and looked quite perplexed.




"That's my port" I pointed out.



Relief flooded his face. . ."oooohhhhhh" he said, somewhat embarassedly. . .

"I thought . . ." [he was wondering how I could have a tumour in that position, that felt so well defined, etc]



"Well . . . I wondered if I needed a crash course in basic physiology" :-)



He'd never met a bandster (though had obviously read about banding) - and had no idea that we have ports.



But he was good; non judgemental, helpful and - I hope - will be able to deal with my forthcoming nightmarish tests in a kind and non embarassing manner.


I realise this is a bit off topic . . but it was amusing. Not quite an NSV - more of an acceptance of my band, treating it as no big deal (NBD) - which doesn't often happen.



It's good when people (medical or otherwise) can just nod and say "yeah, ok, no big deal" when I mention my band.

Monday 1 March 2010

What a difference 0.25 ml makes

I am amazed at the difference having 0.25mils out makes. My band feels 100 times more comfortable and PBing is down to a minimum. And best of all, I really do feel full after eating even though I am not eating much.

While my band was too tight I was always hungry, struggling to keep food down, and PBing more than is safe.

So here's hoping that the scales are kind to me this week!