Tuesday, 30 September 2008

End of the month

Well, another month has come and gone. Only 2.5 months till I hit my 2bandiversary" - December 14th. I certainly don't regret having it done but it has changed my eating habits substantially.

My band has for some unknown reason, loosened since I last posted, so that I am able to eat a bit more. I'm still no good at eating real food; can't stop when I am full, so am still trying to avoid food as mch as possible.

The Cambridge Diet is keeping me going nutrition wise and I am slowly losing more weight. I've also started gentle exercise, using my exercise bike for about half an hour a day when watching TV. But I do find it exhausting.

This morning I was 154.8 pounds. Only 0.9 of a pound to go and I'll be uder 11 stone :-))))

Thursday, 25 September 2008

Good question

Thanks for the comments.

Good question: why am I in such a rush to lose weight? I don't know the answer to that. Maybe because I don't believe that real life will ever allow me to be thin; only crash diets, food deprivation etc. I am scared of being myself, eating what I want etc, cos I know where that has got me over the last 20 yrs.

Lots to think about

Saturday, 20 September 2008

Another post Sept 20th

Not sure that last post (not the liver one) was v coherent, I was trying to write it with my kids milling around and I didn't get a chance to concentrate.

Briefly; I am glad I am losing weight.

But I am only losing weight because food has become virtually a non-issue in my life. I now love watching food programmes, but I only watch them in the abstract; I know I can't eat food; so there is no point in craving it.

I do snack now and again, but never very much or it comes back up

I've managed to stop eating to the point of being sick, most of the time; that means in effect I can't eat meat, fish, eggs, or vegetables (not to mention cakes, biscuits, pies). I can manage tiny amounts of nuts or ice cream or crisps. But I really amn't eating food.

I'm surviving on CDiet and cup a soup,and occasional white wine.

The weight loss is great; but what am I going to do when real life kicks in again. Is this just the ultimate in crash dieting? I don't trust myself for a minute; if my band was loosened I'd overeat immediately.

I miss the comfort of food, and am trying to work ways round it that don't involve alcohol or salty snacks like bombay mix or crisps. (even tho I only eat small amounts, these are high calorie foods)

Tho I make meals for the family I never join in. This way of life can't last for ever.

So is my band working? Yes for weight loss. But no for normality. I never thought it would make me like this. I am scared that if my BMI gets below 25 I won't be able to use the Cambridge Diet any more - then what will I do for nutrients?

Yes I am losing weight; but my hopes of retraining my habits to eat small healthy meals are out the window. So far.

I would like to lose another 3 stone. I should manage it by Christmas if I don't get my band loosened; and so long as I keep off snacks and wine.

Am I glad I had the band? Yes yes and yes. Today I did a wardrobe clear out and got rid of big baggy size 22 tops and skirts. And I fitted in again to clothes I nevr thought I would.

My 17 yr old son said rather surprisedly to me "you really have lost weight . . ." (I was flattered he noticed).

Another thing: I really am not that hungry most of the time. I think the CD has me in ketosis, where you get more energy and less hungry. But a couple of glasses of wine and I do like to nibble. But I can't nibble too much.

I feel like the "bandster rules" about chewing slowly, not eating with food, stopping when I am full, etc, don't really apply to me, since I don't eat food.

Where will it all end? I dunno. But I am happy for now. But a the same time I think this experience/my journey has been very different from any I've ever read.

{edited to say: to lose 3 stone by Christmas I'd have to lose 3lbs a week. That ought to be possible,but watch this space for me falling by the wayside and upping my liquid calories and high cal snacks. Noooo! I don't want to do that.}


Liver disease

Came across this recently and thought it was interesting, given how most obesity surgeons like us to try to shrink our livers pre op. Looks like we do our livers a great service by having ops and losing weight.

Obesity is now the major cause of liver disease


Didn't realise I hadn't updated for so long. As far as weight goes I am going in the right direction. Last weight was 8th September, 11 stone 6. Now, Sept 20th, I am 11-2.

So yes, in a way my band is working. But on the other hand I m not really eating any food. I am very thankful for the CD, since at least I know I'm not getting malnourished. When I say I am not eating, I mean I don't have meals. I never sit at the table to eat. I do snack off and on - crisps like Pringles or Doritos I can manage, along with dip, soft cheese, and sometimes chocolate. And cup a soups.

But it is ages since I tried to eat a meal - and there is no way I'd cope in a social situation where I had to eat a full scale plate of food.

I'm really glad I'm losing weight, but I do realise that altho I may have lost weight, I have NOT lost my weight problem.

I simply can't do comfort eating, so I have to be careful not to switch to comfort drinking instead; too many calories in white wine. I've taken up watching food shows on TV; that is seriously funny. I never was very interested in cooking previous to my band, I snacked a lot, ate a lot of bread, cheese, takeaways, but I was never a serious cook.

Now I watch food programmes avidly, all the time knowing I can't eat anything they show. Weird, huh?
And thanks for the comments

Monday, 1 September 2008

Still today

1st of September. I've lost 18kg since surgery. In 37+ weeks I've lost 39lbs.

Hmmm, hardly record breaking. But look on the bright side of things, at least I'm going the right way.

Is anyone out there?

Does anyone read this any more? Should I give up and make it a private blog? If you stop by, please comment :-)


I've been on the Cambridge Diet for the last few weeks. Not exclusively : - 0 I manage to add in enough extras to keep me from losing much weight.

I had a really good few days last week and thought I might have moved down from 11.11 or 11.12 which I was pretty much stuck at, but no joy. Went up to 11.13

That sort of news depresses me and I spent the weekend being a bit less careful. But this morning I was only 11.8 - JOY! I don't know how that happened, but I am glad it did. Maybe I was retaining fluid.

Onward and downward. I don't really know how much difference my band is making. I can eat little bits of everything and I do eat too much of little bits too often. But at least it stops me pigging out completely.

Doestn't seem fair that I have to have a band AND the Cambridge Diet in order to lose weight. But hey, I'd do anything to lose weight, so I'm glad I've been motivated enough.

I'm back to taking reductil too. Hmmm, that might explain the weight loss. Certainly explains the expenses :-/