Saturday, 20 September 2008

Another post Sept 20th

Not sure that last post (not the liver one) was v coherent, I was trying to write it with my kids milling around and I didn't get a chance to concentrate.

Briefly; I am glad I am losing weight.

But I am only losing weight because food has become virtually a non-issue in my life. I now love watching food programmes, but I only watch them in the abstract; I know I can't eat food; so there is no point in craving it.

I do snack now and again, but never very much or it comes back up

I've managed to stop eating to the point of being sick, most of the time; that means in effect I can't eat meat, fish, eggs, or vegetables (not to mention cakes, biscuits, pies). I can manage tiny amounts of nuts or ice cream or crisps. But I really amn't eating food.

I'm surviving on CDiet and cup a soup,and occasional white wine.

The weight loss is great; but what am I going to do when real life kicks in again. Is this just the ultimate in crash dieting? I don't trust myself for a minute; if my band was loosened I'd overeat immediately.

I miss the comfort of food, and am trying to work ways round it that don't involve alcohol or salty snacks like bombay mix or crisps. (even tho I only eat small amounts, these are high calorie foods)

Tho I make meals for the family I never join in. This way of life can't last for ever.

So is my band working? Yes for weight loss. But no for normality. I never thought it would make me like this. I am scared that if my BMI gets below 25 I won't be able to use the Cambridge Diet any more - then what will I do for nutrients?

Yes I am losing weight; but my hopes of retraining my habits to eat small healthy meals are out the window. So far.

I would like to lose another 3 stone. I should manage it by Christmas if I don't get my band loosened; and so long as I keep off snacks and wine.

Am I glad I had the band? Yes yes and yes. Today I did a wardrobe clear out and got rid of big baggy size 22 tops and skirts. And I fitted in again to clothes I nevr thought I would.

My 17 yr old son said rather surprisedly to me "you really have lost weight . . ." (I was flattered he noticed).

Another thing: I really am not that hungry most of the time. I think the CD has me in ketosis, where you get more energy and less hungry. But a couple of glasses of wine and I do like to nibble. But I can't nibble too much.

I feel like the "bandster rules" about chewing slowly, not eating with food, stopping when I am full, etc, don't really apply to me, since I don't eat food.

Where will it all end? I dunno. But I am happy for now. But a the same time I think this experience/my journey has been very different from any I've ever read.

{edited to say: to lose 3 stone by Christmas I'd have to lose 3lbs a week. That ought to be possible,but watch this space for me falling by the wayside and upping my liquid calories and high cal snacks. Noooo! I don't want to do that.}



Skinny-Minnie said...

Hey Girl!

Thanks for stoping by my little blog. It's nice to know someone out there cares.

You sound so sad. The point of getting the surgery and going through all this was to get healthy right? But you're giving up one part of being healthy for another.

Mind and body are one. You are taking care of the outside it's now time to do the same for the inside.

We(food lovers) need to develope a good relationship with REAL food. We need to learn what out bodies need to keep us running at tip top shape. Then take those foods and make them spectacular....goumet if you please. Eat and find satisfaction with your eyes and nose first. Then taste.

Hiding from REAL food is like punishing yourself everyday for something you didn't do.

Instead of watching TV about food. Take a walk. Learn something new. I learned to knit and crochet. Take a class.

Don't be a spectator to your own life, BE THE STAR!!!

Real life has already "kicked in" and has always been there. It's choosing what you're going to do with it.

Why are you rushing your weight loss?

Every diet I have ever been on has been fast-off.....then months later to fast-on plus 10 pounds.

Keep writing about everything and I will do the same. The ocean isn't so big that we can't do this together.

Lots of skinny hugs!

Jordon said...

I lost 13 lbs in only two weeks by obeying this one easy rule

Bunny said...

Yeah, we would definately get on in real life. I loved this bit

"bandster rules" about chewing slowly, not eating with food, stopping when I am full, etc, don't really apply to me, since I don't eat food."

Laugh out loud! I know what you mean. The rules have never seemed to apply to me either... our journey certainly is different!! LOL.

I think that I am (i.e. Not eating food) where you were here. This is the only way I am going to get this carcass skinny. I cant eat food. I mean I MUST NOT eat food. its not good for me. hee hee