Monday, 21 July 2008

Going backwards now

I have put on weight since my last fill - only 3 or 4 lbs but that is enough to totally depress me. I am not eating a lot of solid food, but the easy to swallow calories are getting to me. And I am not active enough either but I am tired and fat and depressed.

I've arranged a fill for next month, but I guess I can cancel it at the last minute. It doesn't seem the right thing to do, since I can basically not eat any real food, or anything that isn't liquid. So tightening my band is only going to stop more liquids going down, not food.

But maybe that is what I need.

And - nightmares - I have been persuaded against my will (long story) to go to the USA on holiday in the autumn, and I so do not want to be fat and ugly when I go. But the tickets are booked and the time is ticking away.

Where has my motivation gone?

There is a depresssing thread on the WLSInfo forum about how much weight people have lost with band, and I reckon I come bottom of the losers. That is, I have lost less weight than anyone has with a comparable time since their operation.

It didn't work. I know that part of the problem is that I am at home all day and can eat all day. If I was stuck with 3 meals a day I'd be great, but since I can eat a little constantly, I do, and am not going to get below 12.5.

I don't suppose they do jaw wiring any more. . and even if they did it wouldn't work for me.

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