Saturday, 5 July 2008

Dead slow stop

Getting nowhere. It is the summer now; the summer that last December when I had my op I thought I'd be into a size 14 and happy and healthy and coping and not sweating my life out when I moved.

Instead I am still fat.

6 + months after my banding, I am not losing much weight. I'm pretty much stalled between 12 and 12 and a half stone.

It's better than I was, but I've not reallly lost any weight since last fill. I don't have any real restriction, unless I gobble food down too fast, or forget to chew; I can eat most things.

Sometimes some of it comes back up, but mostly not. Mostly it just keeps going down. Some days I'm up a pound or two or others down a pound or two. But I ain't losing.

It's really affected my self esteem badly; since I have gained 8lbs from my lowest post op weight.

Just had my wedding anniversary and I'm massively horribley fatter than I was then. I can see dh wondering if it was worth the money.

For today, my band is useless. It stops me eating like a normal person, but still I manage to get enough calories down not to lose any weight. I know it is my own fault, like not being able to stick to a diet is my own fault too.

Was it worth it? I dunno. Not convinced. I still look and feel really fat and uncomfortable. I still don't remotely have normal eating habits.

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