Friday, 7 March 2008


I've not posted recently cos there has been nothing to say, or at least nothing good : -(
I cancelled my fill, I am pretty sure it was the right thing to do; in fact I am not sure if I need an unfill.

This week I've been trying to eat the "normal" sort of tight restriction bandster foods, but most food I've put in my mouth has ended up in a bin. I'm starving, I eat a little, I get sick; I am starving I eat more, i get sicker - very painful and frustrating.

I have also - for no apparent reason - started the most terrible heartburn. Pre op I got gastric reflux a bit, since I had a hiatus hernia, but diet controlled it mostly, tho I have losec to take if I need it. Losec isn't touching this pain, which seems to stay with me for 3 hrs after I eat anything, which effectively means all day.

Emailed CDB and he suggested asking my GP for nexium instead, failing which to get an xray or a gastroscopy (which I assume means an endoscopy) done. Hmmm. Not really the answer I was looking for. He didn't suggest an unfill.

I just wonder if a bit less restriction would let me get some proper food in, then I'd feel full and eat less (as it is I'm permanently hungry and thirsty, but don't seem to get any relief from either for very long

I need to get an emotional grip on myself and STOP eating foods that come straight back up. there isn't any point and it can't be good for me or my band.

It's been a stressful week; we were meant to have someone round for dinner for the first time this evening so spent ages getting a meal organised, the house tidied, etc; only for them to cancel with half an hour to go.

Rude, but I was thankful. I don't feel mentally strong enough for new people right now.

OH is being very understanding and I'm going to have an early night on my own, see if the rest helps me relax a bit and therefore eat more.

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