Maintaining slowly

I seem to be fairly settled at around 9 stone 3. That isn't to say it is easy, I wish, grin.

Because I am home based, I am around food all day. I can never eat a huge amount at once, but cos I can eat more later, then later then later, then again, I have to be careful that I'm not adding up calories without realising it.

I do find when I am out and about doing other things that I lose weight more easily - when I'm at home, I am more likely to take risks, and try to eat food that my band hates, or eat too much, cos if I am sick at home it isnt the worst disaster.

However when I'm out with friends or anywhere other than home, I am much more careful and don't overeat, and I find I'm likely to lose a couple of pounds that week. . .

Moral of the story - stay home moms have more probs with bands :-)

Found some photos

Found some old photos of myself injecting blood thinners after surgery, don't think I've posted them before - pretty scary stuff!

My stomach is currently pretty horrible. But at least it doesn't look like this any more. . .

Biggest Loser

Been watching the TV program, UK version. I am about ten days behind, cos I never have time to watch it in real time, so always see it on catch up tv. . .

They had this episode where they had to pick up the weight in fat of what they'd lost. It looked huge and heavy.

I've lost . . (6 x 14) + . . . . nearly 90 pounds. (or 38 kg). Wow. Would NOT like to see that in fat that I had to pick up and carry around.

That is the weird thing about weight loss surgery. You lose weight almost so slowly that you dont notice it. If you read back on this blog I had times where I wasn't losing, or where I was fed up cos I didn't seem to be losing fast enough, I felt I was going nowhere, etc.

But now, 18 months on; wow. I am a lot lighter than I was. I don't actually look fat any more.. . .

Hard for me to say that, my mind hasn't yet caught up with my body.

Low blood sugar?

The other day I had a weird experience.

I don't normally do much exercise - to be honest, I do none at all. I am absolutely sedentary and don't like going upstairs more than a couple of times a day if I can help it.

Was out with friends last week, and went for a brisk 20 minute walk. Then for a swim and then to a sauna and steam room. Then a 20 min walk home. By the time (noon) we got back, I was beginning to feel dreadful.

All I'd eaten all day was one cup of coffee. I felt really nauseous, sick, dizzy and weak. And kind of spaced out? Like I wasn't in touch with reality.

I had felt ok while swimming, though I'd found the brisk walk quite tiring, esp on the way home, and found it hard to keep making conversation while walking (getting out of breath).

I had to go out of the steam room cos I felt dizzy,but thought it was just the heat.

But the sick/weak/weird feeling kept on for ages. In the end I thought it might be low sugar, so I managed to drink some fruit juice; then some more.

I felt worse and worse and began to wonder if I was going to have to call an ambulance. . I couldn't eat any food, but thought that fruit juice might help my blood sugar levels.

Eventually it did. Wow was I grateful to start feeling "normal" again.

And I will never ever exercise on an empty stomach again!

Photos

I've put pictures of myself pre and post op on to a separate private blog; if you want to see them, leave your email address and I'll send you an invitation.

Starving

For no obvious reason I am starving. It's 0930, and I've been awake for 4 hrs. Had two cups of coffee since waking and starting to nibble pistachio nuts, but decided to think what I really want to eat. . .

A tin of these! Thankfully we live near a supermarket, so I can go to get some before lunch. My stomach is rumbling at the thought!

Friday 19th

And 8 stone 13.9 pounds this morning, which surprised me cos I feel like I've been pigging out a bit lately. Maybe it's dehydration cos of the warm weather (beautiful here in the South of England).

Still debating about posting personal photos here. .

Oops

It is Wednesday again and I haven't updated this week. Not sure how much I weigh (can't often say that) cos I've not been on the scales for a few days. I was down to 9 stone 0.3 pounds on Friday. I'd like to get under 9 stone, but since then I've eaten too much.

I didn't have to eat it, but I did. Sigh. I realise now that I am in maintenance mode; not trying to lose or gain weight, just stay sort of level. It isn't easy, I think it is easier to be losing rather than standing still.

My diet is not the world's healthiest, but over the weekend I did well. I had a girls' night out with a couple of friends on Friday and Saturday. We had dinner at an amazing restaurant (http://www.yauatcha.com/) which served up small portions of food, so I was able just to pick and choose what I wanted.

I don't think any of the others there noticed what I was or wasn't eating. Two of the friends who were at dinner know about my band, but we didn't discuss it. One of them did tell me (she's a good friend!) that she reckoned I looked more like 10 stone than 9 stone. (???!!!).

She is probably right, since people are always surprised how light I am for my size; I think I have light bones or something.

I'm still not really used to the fact that I am 9 stone something, instead of 200 pounds. I was reading an old journal last night, I was 14 stone 9 and really trying to lose weight. At that point in time I'd never heard of gastric banding. But I had been dieting all my life.

I am so glad that I found a way out of the endless cycle of "gain-lose-struggle-lose-gain-regain"

I've thought about posting photos here. . . .but I am nervous in case anyone who knows me in real life and doesn't know about this blog stumbles across it and recognises me.. . hmmmm.

If anyone wants pics (The Dash?) you can leave your email address in a comment and I'll send some privately. Or am I just being paranoid, does it really matter if real life people find this blog?

Not sure.

A Scale Victory

Finally discovered what NSV and SV mean - as found on lots of other bandsters blogs. . .

Scale or Non Scale Victory.

Today was an SV. I was 9 stone 0.8 pounds. I do think that I have lost a couple of pounds because I had a horrendous dental appointment the other day and really could not eat afterwards. I had some meal replacement drinks, and plenty fluids, but couldn't eat. Still can't eat properly, my mouth is swollen and sore. . ouchie.

I look like Donald(a) Duck. Not funny, esp since I am meeting friends at the weekend, for a fairly important girlie night out together, followed by a trip to Queen's Tennis Club.

I really don't want to go there looking like Donalda Duck, no one is going to notice weight loss when my lower face is swollen like I've been hit by a bus.

I hope the swelling goes down.

So it has been a good week, scales wise, but not so good in other ways.

Monday

Nine stone two point 8 pounds.

Better than it has been lately. I am glad. But having said that I have had a rotten day today, eaten too much of the wrong stuff. I have this thing about garlic and herb dip. Which is really just mayonnaise (liquid fat) with garlic flavoring . . .

I like to nibble tortilla chips dipped in garlic and herb dip. Sigh. Millions of calories. I really really need to get out of this habit.

Diet right now is like this:

Morning: decaff coffee with milk and a biscuit (100 cals)

Lunchtime: nothing, maybe coffee, but am generally not hungry.

Mid afternoon: chips, dip and lean chicken fillets (chicken is 150 per pack and it takes me ages to eat; chips are 500 per pack; dip is 1000 cals per tub. Eeeeeek. I can get through a tub in a day or maybe two)

Evening: I just continue with the above (cos I won't have finished it) and , maybe add some chocolate in.

I do cheat and take Orlistat every meal . . .to get rid of some of the excess fat I am taking in.

Not exactly a balanced diet. In fact when I write it down it looks terrrrrible.

Strange; pre banding I ate tons and tons of vegetables; I always had this thing about vegetables, I loved them. Broccoli, carrots, brussel sprouts, onions, cucumber, tomatoes, peppers, lettuce, even boiled cabbage. . .

Now I can't eat veg, unless it is mushed beyond belief. Sometimes I manage carrot and corriander soup.

(pre band I ate lots more, not just veg, lol, didn't get to being 15 stone 3 by just eating veg)

I've never been a fruit eater. Hate it. Would rather eat cauliflower than an apple. And definitely prefer brussel sprouts over bananas. Weird, eh?

Am hoping to improve my blog, make it more interesting, chatty and add in some pics. I want to thank two bloggers, The Dash; and The NYC Attorney; your blogs are inspirational. I hope to learn from you.

Weight

I am 9 stone 4. I was this weight in January. I don't know whether to be happy that I am maintaining at at sensible weight, or depressed cos I've not got very far in 6 months!

I suppose I did have a de fill which made me gain nearly a stone, and I've managed to get rid of that. But I'd like to lose more. . .

Also feel bad that I post so few photos :-) Will try to improve, otherwise this can be a bit boring to read!

My port

My port is on my left hand side, above my waist and below my ribs. This picture shows it during my last trip to Belgium

Erm, you can also see my desperate need for a tummy tuck :-)

Update

Sorry so long in posting again. .

My weight has stablised around 9 stone 4, which is ok, though ideally I'd like to lose another seven pounds and get back to 8-12 which I was in March. But if I can't that is ok.

I am the first to admit that I am *not* the world's greatest bandster. I'm probably one of the worst :-) I do often eat too much or too fast or the wrong food, and end up pbing mildly on a daily basis.

But last night. . .

Something weird and terrifying happened last night. Had a normal sort of day, eating the normal sort of foods, had a couple of minor pbs (I don't get pain, I just burp food back up when I am too full).

(That is how pbing is for me; food comes up very gently and easily; I don't hardly notice it unless I have to rush out of polite company suddenly. I can tell when it is going to happen and just excuse myself normally, so it isn't a big deal in my life it I bring food back up again.)

Then around 7pm I had some (very) distressing news and spent the next couple of hours quite upset. Didn't eat or drink anything much (not that I remember, I might have picked at some left over chicken I'd had for supper . . ).

Went to bed at midnight, and woke at 2am with a fearfully sore back, I thought. (I get back pain sometimes - have Tramadol for when it is bad). I was horrified at having such severe back pain.

Then I realised it was my upper left chest area that hurt, not my back. It was my band area that was hurting. Really really hurting. I couldn't lie down or sit up or get comfortable. I could feel pain like a knife in my chest. Was worried it might have been a heart attack, but the pain wasn't in my arms or jaw.

I really didn't know what to do - visions of a band eroding into my stomach, internal bleeding, dying etc, flashed before my eyes. I managed to drink some water, and it went down ok, but the pain was too severe for me to risk painkillers, in case my band had slipped and they would aggrevate the situation.

Then I started to get hiccups and I could feel my stomach hurting round where my band is. It was sooooo painful.

Finally, over the next hour or so, I pb'd some chicken I'd eaten at 5pm. I was so relieved when the pain passed, but I was so scared.

I was sure my band had slipped. Do you think it did?

Today I've been on fluids only to give my stomach a rest.Wow, if people normally feel like that when they pb no wonder they avoid it like the plague.

I wonder what happened. I really really don't want it to happen again!