Denial

I realise I am either

(a) completely unsuitable for a gastric band or

(b) in complete denial over the whole operation

I am due to go back to Belgium for a double fill on Friday. This is Monday, and I haven't even thought of buying Euros (takes days sometimes here), or dyeing my hair (which is looking distinctly rooted).

And I have not and will not weigh myself before I go.

I am able to eat anything and everything even today I had a cheese sandwich with chips. Oh dear oh dear. I do have the occasional "spit up" but I put that down to not chewing enough. If I chewed it enough, I could eat an elephant.

Also, which is sad bad not good news, I am ALWAYS hungry. Dunno what this op (remember I had a large hiatus hernia fixed) has done to me; but I never ever feel full; far worse than before the op. . . will discuss with CDB.

It kind of makes sense, if you understand what a hiatus hernia is. A small pouch of stomch moves upwards, past the diaphragm, giving me effectively two stomachs: one a hernia, and one real one.

I have been used to the "feeling superficially full, but wait a few minutes and then swallow reallllll hard and the food will move down and I can eat more" feeling.

Which is what the band is trying to do. Create a small pouch of stomach that I believe is my real stomach. I've had that for years, and it did not lead to weight loss. . . sad but true, I fear I've bought into the wrong operation.

Another issue which I haven't mentioned till now is that I've been thru a lot of pregnancies and with every one I vomitted like mad - all day every day for 6 months at least. So vomitting or "pbing" isn't something strange, it is pretty normal in this house.

My kids never blinked if they saw me rush to the loo to vomit, they just knew that that is what moms did (when pregnant). Now, no one here would notice supposing I ate and vomitted for hours on end every day.

Does anyone agree that I've bought the wrong operation?