I am now 21 days out of surgery and feeling rotten. I stillllll have this horrible wound that won't heal, and I am heavier than I was before I went for bloomin' surgery. Feeling pathetic, hopeless and like I might as well have spent the money on lottery tickets, this gastric band has gotten me NOWHERE in terms of weight loss so far
I dodge the scales, but I am hovering around 91kg, same as pre op; ok I lost 5kg on the pre op diet but that was basically starvation. If I wanted to lose weight on the Cambridge Diet, I could have done without this op.
That is how I feel . . .
I have to go back to Belgium for a fill on 11th Jan - 8 days. I am scaredest that he wont' do a fill cost my wound is still gaping and oozing and not happy at all. That would be the biggest waste of money and worst disappointment. (if you look to the left you see a slight vertical properly healed scar. The mess in the middle is the scar that won't heal)
I am horrified at how little restriction I have. I have to be a littttttttle bit careful what I eat first thing in the morning; but once I've had some fluid, and a couple of hours of being up and about I can eat most things
And like I knew before surgery, alcohol, chocolate and the rest of the garbage goes down no bother. I really wish I had been 40 pounds heavier and been able to have stomach bypass op
Watched a very moving TV program on US 5 tonight, a 16 yr old had bypass surgery. He was 411 pounds before hand, and it was a battle getting a surgeon to do the op cos he was under 18, but a yr later he was just like normal. Ok, he was 6 ft 2 and a bit on the big side (240lbs) but normal, not just a massive walking disaster.
Lots of debate as to what causes overweight (or morbid obesity) is it nature or nurture. This program tended to blame genetics, since this man was from a normal family, with no one else with a weight problem.
His life got totally changed around. Yeah for him.
But right now. . .
I have lots of pain and oozing discharge from a superficial wound. I have worse muscle pain from another "keyhole" site, which looks great on the skin, but underneath everything realllllly hurts; worse than my hysterectomy, I can't carry, list or go upstairs without careful consideration of the muscles involved.
And I have virtually no restriction on what I eat or drink or chew or swallow. The restriction was greater at the beginning - now it is nothing.
Maybe and it is a big maybe, I am beginning to lose faith is this whole damn thing, once I've seen my doc Chris de Bruyne and had a "fill" (thereby tightening the band round my stomach, and in theory making me eat less) I'll start to lose weight. But frankly it is a big maybe.
I don't think there is a pill or op in the whole world that can control my weight. I believe it is a mental process; and that mental process ain't working.
I feel pretty pathetic and hopeless and low. And I wish this wound would heal - can't my body even do that right??
I did lose 4 litres of blood and was in a life and death situation a couple of weeks ago, but so what, I have to get on with life now as it is.
And life now is too fat and not happy.
Pic of wound coming up . . .so close down now if you get queasy easy. The yellowish colour is idodine/savlon/antiseptic spray; I sprayed it on the wound, and waited and within a moment or two, more fluid would seep out and cover the spray. I is prob not as sore as it looks, but sore enough!