Wednesday, 2 January 2008

Fed up

I am now 21 days out of surgery and feeling rotten. I stillllll have this horrible wound that won't heal, and I am heavier than I was before I went for bloomin' surgery. Feeling pathetic, hopeless and like I might as well have spent the money on lottery tickets, this gastric band has gotten me NOWHERE in terms of weight loss so far

I dodge the scales, but I am hovering around 91kg, same as pre op; ok I lost 5kg on the pre op diet but that was basically starvation. If I wanted to lose weight on the Cambridge Diet, I could have done without this op.

That is how I feel . . .

I have to go back to Belgium for a fill on 11th Jan - 8 days. I am scaredest that he wont' do a fill cost my wound is still gaping and oozing and not happy at all. That would be the biggest waste of money and worst disappointment. (if you look to the left you see a slight vertical properly healed scar. The mess in the middle is the scar that won't heal)

I am horrified at how little restriction I have. I have to be a littttttttle bit careful what I eat first thing in the morning; but once I've had some fluid, and a couple of hours of being up and about I can eat most things

And like I knew before surgery, alcohol, chocolate and the rest of the garbage goes down no bother. I really wish I had been 40 pounds heavier and been able to have stomach bypass op

Watched a very moving TV program on US 5 tonight, a 16 yr old had bypass surgery. He was 411 pounds before hand, and it was a battle getting a surgeon to do the op cos he was under 18, but a yr later he was just like normal. Ok, he was 6 ft 2 and a bit on the big side (240lbs) but normal, not just a massive walking disaster.

Lots of debate as to what causes overweight (or morbid obesity) is it nature or nurture. This program tended to blame genetics, since this man was from a normal family, with no one else with a weight problem.

His life got totally changed around. Yeah for him.

But right now. . .

I have lots of pain and oozing discharge from a superficial wound. I have worse muscle pain from another "keyhole" site, which looks great on the skin, but underneath everything realllllly hurts; worse than my hysterectomy, I can't carry, list or go upstairs without careful consideration of the muscles involved.

And I have virtually no restriction on what I eat or drink or chew or swallow. The restriction was greater at the beginning - now it is nothing.

Maybe and it is a big maybe, I am beginning to lose faith is this whole damn thing, once I've seen my doc Chris de Bruyne and had a "fill" (thereby tightening the band round my stomach, and in theory making me eat less) I'll start to lose weight. But frankly it is a big maybe.

I don't think there is a pill or op in the whole world that can control my weight. I believe it is a mental process; and that mental process ain't working.

I feel pretty pathetic and hopeless and low. And I wish this wound would heal - can't my body even do that right??

I did lose 4 litres of blood and was in a life and death situation a couple of weeks ago, but so what, I have to get on with life now as it is.

And life now is too fat and not happy.

Pic of wound coming up . . .so close down now if you get queasy easy. The yellowish colour is idodine/savlon/antiseptic spray; I sprayed it on the wound, and waited and within a moment or two, more fluid would seep out and cover the spray. I is prob not as sore as it looks, but sore enough!


Ken said...

The total zero restriction is normal at this stage. Initially the restriction post op is due to trauma during the operation causing swelling and thus restriction. After 2-4 weeks this subsides and the average band patient feels nothing. (no restriction). Didnt they tell you to expect this??
As for the wound get it checked. Difficult to comment without seeing it. Hope it all comes right and nil desperandum.
I will add you to my blogs to read.

Bandster said...

Ken, I am honoured that you read my blog: I've read my way through yours since I joined the WLS site (found it thru melondrama's blog)

You are a hero in the WLS surgery world :-) and thanks a million for starting a site where I could get proper info on WLS

No, got no info on weight loss from surgeon - Chris de Bruyne, Belgium. . .he didnt' tell me anything I hadn't already read.

He did tell me that I would feel restriction immediately and that it would wear off in 6 - 8 weeks. That has not happened.

Not knocking his opinion, all patients are different, and since I had a hiatus hernia repair, as well as a major bleeding and re-op problem, I guess I was never going to be an average patient.

My GP's practice gave me a nurse who told me there were no stitches in the wound (she said there were none in any wound. . .. why does my husband pay taxes . . . )

When I convinced her there were stitches to be removed she said there were none in this wound, and even got a GP (not mine) to agree. . . they were wrong, since dh yanked out a long bit of (looks like fishing line , cat gut or some dental flosses) stitch a week ago.

That I could cope with, but since then the wound has refuse to heal, making me fear there is more "something or other" in there; or some infection

Again, I am honoured if you take time to read my blog; and as for nil desperandum - thanks. My biggest problem is that . . I am not big enough to be a problem.

If that makes sense. If I was 50lbs heavier, then my GP might take notice (instead of telling me, as he "helpfully" did that I was overweight cos I was lazy and greedy) (and my other GP who I like a lot better did tend to blame a bit of overweight - her BMI I bet is higher than mine - on middle age, menopause etc, just one of these things to embrace and get one with life for goodness sake)

But I know who I am, an I know that at 41, gaining 15 - 20 pounds a year, I am going to kill myself unless I did something about it.

I just hope I did the right thing :-0

I hope too that my experiences, good bad and ugly, might be of help to someone somewhere.

Right now I wish I had gained a bit more weight and gone for a bypass op. Ok, bigger risks, but heck, I nearly died as it was, with a 4 litre blood loss. . .

Ok, nil desperandum. . .will try to post something postitive soon.

bagpuss1 said...

Hi Bandster,

I hope things have improved for you. Are you based in the UK?

I'm doing some research into gastric band operations abroad and the possible complications with aftercare. Do you tthink you voulfd give me some advice? I don't check this site that often but you can email me at
I'd be vetry grateful to hear from you.