Oh dear oh dear

I am up to 10 stone 1.8 pounds. It is all my own fault (grin, wish I could blame some evil force at work in the universe, but I can't) - I've been snacking too much, my restriction is all but gone, and I've not been to the gym as much as I should or could have.

On the positive side of things, I've booked a fill, and am determined to try to cut down on what I'm mindlessly eating (quite a lot at this time of yr). Total intake today, two cups of coffee, and one Cambridge Diet drink. So far, so good. Roll on next week and my fill. I feel like asking for another 2mils, but since I just had 0.5mls out, I doubt I'd survive that. Not sure if it is worth having 0.25, but less is sometimes more when it comes to restriction.

At least I'm not facing yet another New Year's resolution to lose 100 pounds; I only need to lose ten or so. And that is not impossible with a band.

Bah Humbug

I am not feeling Christmassy at all. I'm cold and tired and trying not to eat too much. Since my defill I've stopped pbing completely which is great (though if I do drink diet Coke which hasn't had time to go flat too fast it might come back up), but I'm scared of weight gain.



So I am anxiously watching every calorie, and I hate it.



One thing that never worked for me was the sense of not being hungry. I am always hungry and often thinking about food when I really don't need to eat. And although I get full easily, I also get hungry again quickly.

I think I had too much out at my last defill. It seems likely that my stomach was swollen with pbing and now that my restriction is less and that has settled down, the swelling has gone down and I have too little restriction.

Bands are hard work!

Enjoying the sucess stories out there in Bandland!

Tough time.

Just gone by my 2 yr oppiversary. I really haven't lost any weight at all since this time last yr.
2 yrs ago I was 15 stone 3
1 yr ago I was 10 stone 4

Today I am between 9-12 and 10-2

Which means that in one yr I've not reallly moved at all. I don't want to stablized (and I am not stable) at 10 stone 2, 4, or 6. I would rather be 8 stone 2, 4 or 6. Lowest I ever got to was 8-12.

I realise it is Xmas, lots of lovely food around, lots of entertainment, out of routine, etc.

But oh my goodness, what am I going to do! I seem to be on the "regain wagon" hard and fast.

Not saying this to frighten anyone, but just to be honest.

I hate the fact I've regained weight.

I hate being too tight for clothes that used to look great on me.

I hate standing on the scales.

I hate the looks on people's faces when they last saw me at 8-12 and I am now 10 - 15 pounds heavier and their face says it all ("it was just another mad crazy crash diet, and though she lost so much weight, she is back on the way up up and up and given time she'll be fat fat fat again"

Soo o o o o what am I going to do about it? I guess a fill is on the cards, asap. And until then, self control, discipline and dieting.

Gym

Went to the gym today for the first time in ages - I always feel better when I go, though I am a bit knackered from the exercise. I am really unfit, and I need to work on getting more diligent at going regularly.

Oh well, every little helps. When I was weighed at the band doctor on Saturday I was 136 lbs (though that was with quite a lot of clothes on)

Will weigh myself properly tomorrow.

I am eating more, but less often than pre my defill. So far.

need to make some changes

Have been reading a lot of bandster blogs tonight and thinking things over a bit.

I need to make some changes.

I would like to stop eating so many ready meals (I am seriously bad at this. Although I cook decent balanced meals for the family, I do like to eat ready meals - curries, chinese, anything that qualifies as a TV dinner, I've probably eaten it this past month)

I would like to see chocolate as an occasional treat, not as an essential food group

I would like to cut out MSG and sodium a bit, and go back to a more natural diet.

(see Bunny's blog on MSG: http://weightloss-expedition.blogspot.com/)

I would like to exercise more.

Not sure I'll achieve these goals, but at least I have them. . .

This list of questions has been posted on a few bandster blogs, so I thought I'd answer. .

ANY REGRETS? Are you happy with your decision and would you do it again?
Very happy. I would do it again tomorrow and the day after that if I had to.

ARE YOU SORRY, YOU DIDN'T GIVE TRADITIONAL DIETING ONE MORE TRY?
No. I'd done the "one last try" thing for years, and it never did work. Also, there is an element of dieting (or being careful in what I eat) with a band. It's not a magic wand

WHAT IS THE WORST THING ABOUT HAVING THE BAND?
Pbing, which I do quite a lot (sometimes) and the fact that the band only works on my stomach, not my mind. Sometimes head hunger can be excessive yet my band won't let me eat; that can be difficult

WHAT IS THE BEST THING ABOUT HAVING THE BAND?
Losing six stone (nearly 90 pounds). Defintely a good thing! I had dieted all my life and never lost weight like this, and never kept weight off, till now.

On a scale of 1 to 10 HOW HARD WAS/IS IT PSYCHOLOGICALLY TO GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU CAN'T EAT THE SAME WAY ANYMORE?
About 6 - 7 (1 being easy, 10 hard). I do struggle sometimes with head hunger and wanting to "pig out" and I can't, and that isn't easy

HAS BEING BANDED MADE YOUR PERSONALITY CHANGE? For the better or worse?
Are you still able to party a little? (I am a wine drinker...can't imagine giving it up completely) and are you a party pooper now cause you can't party as much?
Not sure about that to be honest. I still drink wine and still party as I did. But in every day life I'd say I have changed. I am quieter in a lot of situations, no longer need to "overcompensate" for my "failings" (ie being fat).

I am more calm in myself, and probably less outgoing, happier to take a back seat. It hasnt' made me more assertive as some bandsters find.

HOW MUCH HAPPIER ARE YOU WITH YOUR BODY? I am wondering what I will look like 50-80 lbs thinner. I am 47 and will have a "lose skin" issue.

With my clothes on I am about 80% happier with my body (still got fat calves and ankles and I prob need a face lift). With no clothes - hmm, lots of work needed, I have a lot of loose skin on my tummy and I have no behind at all, just saggy skin. I'm 43.

HAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS CHANGED? Spouses? Family? Friends? Strangers?

See above re personality. Family - no, my dh loved me like I was, that hasn't changed. At least one of my kids have said that they think I looked better fat (!!!) prob cos my face has gotten a lot thinner.

Friends - some are different towards me, not everyone likes it when the fat friend becomes a thin friend.

Strangers - yes, you do get treated differently when you are thin.

DO YOU FEEL LIKE THE SAME PERSON OR COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOW THAT YOU HAVE LOST WEIGHT?
A bit of both. It takes a long time for my head to catch up with my body. I still avoid normal clothes shops, and buy a size that is too big online (!)

Also, and this is probably a post in itself; when you are overweight long term and struggling always to lose weight, it is easy to think that if you were thin then life would be perfect, everything will be different. But it's not. All that has happened is that I've lost weight. The rest of life is just like it was. The good, the bad and the ugly. But now, I have nothing to blame for the bad and the ugly (in the past I'd have blamed my weight)

Had a defill

I straggled (as in struggled, but it was wet and miserable) into London this morning to see a fill provider (not my original surgeon, but he is almost as good - Belgian, Dr Marc Focquet, (website here) .

I explained that I wanted a little out because I am too restricted right now - have been pbing quite a lot which is not a good thing, and have been eating nothing but junk, which is equally not a good thing. He is a good doctor and always listens and thinks before offering advice. He suggested taking out 0.5mils, which was ok with me.

It wasn't painful (no more than usual - I am a complete baby with pain, I hate it) when the needle went in, but, which was unusual, I bled quite a bit, and now have a black and blue bruise the size of a 50p piece where my port is. Hmm, that has never happened before.

Didn't feel different after the defill - Dr Marc showed me the amount he'd taken out in the syringe, and it really is tiny, I did wonder how much difference it can make.

Since getting home, I've been able to eat soup, coffee and chocolate :-) I know, I know, keep off the chocolate. I feel like I've been a bit dehydrated the last week or two, since getting any food to stay down was difficult, and although I could drink a lot of fluid, a lot of it did come back up.

Feeling more human since my defill. Just hope I don't start gaining weight too fast.

Update

There hasn't been much to say on the banding front lately. I've still been reading lots of blog and keeping up to date with everyone, some spectacular progress being made, and NSVs all round.

I'm 133 pounds (9 stone 7), which is ok.

But my band has gotten tighter for no reason, and I've been pbing quite badly. So I'm booked to see a fill provider (not my surgeon) on Saturday to get a tiny defill - I'll probably ask for 0.25 mils out. £100 is a lot to pay for 0.25mils, but life is getting too difficult with my band this tight, as there is very little real food I can eat; and even slider foods are coming back up sometimes.

In other news, my GP rang today, my last blood results

came back showing that my thyroid is low.

My thyroid tends to be unstable, sometimes up and then down, so I haven't often had medication for it. But I have to go for more blood tests to get it checked again. I'm not very good at going for follow up appointments, the doctor has to chase me up, I guess I am too busy with real life (and my band doctor) to often go to my GP.

If my thyroid is underactive, it might mean I get medication which might make me less tired and help my hair.

Since WLS my hair has been a disaster - it was never partic thick or glossy, but post op it has been (and it is nearly 2 yrs) very poorly and miserable. Almost embarassingly so. I'm tempted to get it cut very short to see if it would look better, but I am not sure. It really doesn't grow fast at all - I know cos it is dyed, and while my friends have to do their roots fairly often, I hardly ever have to. . . ever cloud has a silver lining.

Am meeting a friend who I only see a couple of times a year in a couple of weeks. A never-had-a-weight-problem friend, who is fascinated by my weight loss (she knows about the band)

Talking of people knowing, my mom was visiting last week. And she was soooooo curious about my weight loss it was difficult. I last saw her in July 08 when I'd lost a little weight and she was pleased for me (she is one of those people to whom being thin is *the* most important thing in life; and left me with many hang-ups about it over the years). Then I saw her briefly in August this yr (very briefly) and she was delighted at how thin I'd got - but like all previous attempts, she was sure it was a crash diet, and that I'd soon put it all back on.

So seeing me three months later, still the same weight, has puzzled her completely.

I've yo-yo'd between really quite fat and really quite normal-sized over the years, but never stayed normal sized, always got back fast to being fat. So she is very very curious as to what I've done this time.

She's known when I've taken Xenical, Reductil, etc, and she watched me fail with these. I'd never tell her. . . I hope she doesn't ask me straight out.

A to Z

Have see this on a few bandster blogs. . . not sure how interesting it is to anyone, but here goes . .

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

A
- Age: 43 (and going to stay here for some time - last yr I was 38)
- Annoyance: children who lose their pencils/books/concentration
- Animal: cat definitely


B
- Beer: Haven't drunk beer for 20+ yrs; it makes me throw up terribbbbbbly
- Birthplace: Stornoway, Isle of Lewis, Scotland
- Been in Love: Not sure
- Been bitched at: Yeah, no end
- Believe in yourself?: On good days
- Believe in God: Absolutely without a doubt
- Before weight: 220lbs ish

C
- Car: I don't drive
- Candy: any chocolate
- Colour: red
- Cried in school: not till I was quite old (like 17)
- Chocolate/Vanilla: chocolate always
- Chinese/Mexican: Chinese always
- Cake or pie: cake
- Country to visit: New York City. Been there once; it is a place without equal. London and Amsterdam come close, but my heart is in NYC

D
- Day or Night: Night! Always.
- Do the splits?: Never; though I did gymnastics in my teens

E
- Eggs: now and again
- Eyes: Brown :-( All my family have green. S'not fair.

F
- First crush:John MacNaught in Y10
- First thoughts waking up: It can't possibly be morning already??
- Food: yeah, now and again

G
- Greatest Fear: the day of judgement
- Goals: not sure than I have any
- Get along with your parents? - now and again

Nine stone eight

I am so happy with that

I have not been trying at all lately

Life has been difficult; I have been comfort eating

I've had too many "liquid" calories, etc

And - big big and

I have avoided the scales.

So, finally tonight I plucked up the courage to jump on (weighing at night is not the best, cos apparently one is always lighter in the morning)

And I was only nine stone eight pounds - which is 134 pounds or 60.9kg

I'd love to be ten pounds (or five kilos) lighter, but right now, I can live with that, since I really haven't been trying, haven't been exercising (real life got in the way), and have been comfort eating quite bit

Yahooooo for my band. Without it I'd be gaining 2 - 3 pounds (1 -3kg) a week, given all the other "stuff" that is going on in my life right now. I know I would, I'd be seeking solace in food par excellence.

Yahooooo for the fact that my band has forced me on to the straight and narrow; and yeah, I am still ten pounds heavier than I'd like; but I am no way where I'd be without a band.

I could always lose weight when I tried; sometimes, lots of weight. But then when times got tough, life got difficult, things weren't easy etc; I'd give up on "the diet" and pile all the weight back on again.

With my band (God bless him) I can't give up. I can't just eat three whole pizzas without stopping, nor a whole family pack of crisps, nor yet seventeen of my son's homemade and utterly delectable donuts.

Will wont let me (my band is called Will Power). And he really won't let me get fat again. Even when the going gets tough and the tough want to get eating.

Just a thankful post. It is nearly two yrs since I was banded; I have kept between 80 and 90 pounds off since my op (more if you count the highest weight I ever hit).

Maybe this is really going to work???

I am not convinced on the one hand. I have read the statistics - at five yrs out almost all dieters have regained their original weight. AND, which is scarey, so many bandsters do well for a bit, lose loads of weight, then regain it all and go for an RNY. (check out http://www.wlsinfo.org.uk/forums/)

But for tonight, for me, this is working; and I am happy. . . .

How long?

In response to a discussion started on Dash's blog, I wrote this. We are discussing - how long physically does a band (it is after all a bit of plastic inside you) last? And what do you do when it disintegrates/collapses/falls apart etc.

It is only a bit of plastic. . . our stomachs remain unchanged (compared to having a gastric bypass or one of the more radical types of WLS - weight loss surgery)

I wrote:

You said
"[once at goal weight/ in maintenance] how often do we go back to the doc and what does he do for us in regards to the band then? "

That is the million dollar question (let's say US dollars for Catherine's sake :-))

I dunno

I dunno when or whenever or however I may need the band out

I dunno if I could keep up my weight loss (90 pounds ish) without a band

I dunno where and when and if I might need a replacement (I was 41 when I was banded; I expect, God willing, to live for another 40+ yrs)

I dunno the answers.

These are good questions. I love to hear from long time bandsters (like 5+ years) since five yrs of maintaining weight loss seems to be the "holy grail" in weight loss circles (not just WLS circles)

My surgeon (who is very well respected in England and Europe and who personally got out of bed to save my life) warned me before I committed to gastric banding that my band was NOT a life-time article.

Sometime, he said, in the next 15 - 20 yrs it will fail. I might be able (he thought 80% likely) to live with that, but have a 20% chance of needing surgery to get rid of the band which has collapsed/died/fallen apart etc.

He assumed (I don't) that by then I would have my weight under control, and that any issues with the band would be purely physiological.

Hmmmmmmmm

Lots to think through. Am not yet 2 yrs out. Best thing I ever did for myself was to get a gastric band. I never go a day without being thankful (lol and sometimes I hate it; but only for a few minutes here and there)

I love my band.

I don't want it to die

I realise it will prob die before I do

(this sounds like I am talking bout a kitten!)

If and when it does, I'll re assess the situation.

Sorry to ramble on

Hx

I still don't have any answers. . . .in fact the longer I live with my band, the more questions I have.

I am very physically aware of my port - it is prominent and since it is stitched to muscle, it is never painless.

I am also - harder to explain - aware of the band. I can feel it round my stomach all the time, although I can't physically put my hand on it cos it is behind my ribs. Nonetheless I can feel my band whenever I eat, drink, swallow, or bend forward. It is very much there in my life.

I can also - and this is unusual - feel the tubing between the two (port and band). Because of where my port was placed, as I lost weight, it has become very very close to my skin/the surface. I can feel it all the way round, and can feel the tubing coming from it up to my band.

Were I (God forbid!) to wear a bikini in public, you would see my port very obviously. And anyone who touches my port (like dh, and kids - that is all!) can immediately feel the tubing too.

Cos of the port placement and my weight loss, the plastic bits are very very near the surface.

It is not a bad thing. . . since I am in a happy marriage where my dh knows about my surgery. But if I were a singleton, I'd be very very - (nervous?) about the fact that I have a large bit of internal plastic plainly obvious in my abdomen.

Getting back on topic here - how long will I have it? I don't know. I have three dental implants (bits of metal screwed into my jaw which hold crowns which look like real normal teeth - but in reality, they are dependant on large metal screws run into my jaw) and I feel like I can live with them forever. .

Which is partly why I thought I could cope with a band rather than a sleeve or RNY.

Any opinions, please share. Apologies for hijacking The Dash's question - she's linked down the side, read her blog, it is a great read.

Hx

Measurements

Despite my weight loss, I still have body parts I hate

Especially (since reading about Catherine's NSV Catherine's Boots ) my lower legs.





I am cursed.
(and no, this is not a pic of me! I found it online; if I looked like this I would not be complaining)


I have lost 90 pounds (on a good day).


But I stillllll have calves that measure 15 inches. And cankles that measure 10 inches.

If it is any consolation to me (not much - I never ever fit into any jeans) I have thighs 17.5 inches, and hips of 33 inches; and my waist is 36 inches.

How can I ever fit into clothes?? My BMI is around 20. Theoretically I am thin. Huh. With a 36 inch waist?

Maybe I need a tummy tuck and a lower body lift and and and - lol I haven't gotten into my upper body size, but just for the record, measured without a bra on. . . my bust is. . . 43 inches

I just about fainted when I worked it out right now.

The weird thing is that my BMI is on the low side of normal (as of tonight it is 20.8). Ok, great, BMI 2o, bust 43 inches, waist 36, hips 33.

What planet have I come from? And how do I fix this??

Why ??

Why do some bandsters do really well (Catherine55 is a prime example) (http://chroniclesfrombandland.blogspot.com/), yet others (I am a member of WLSInfo Forums) really never get anywhere and after a miserable couple of years decide to go for RNY bypasses instead. Or they just give up.
What makes the difference? Is it a physiology thing - ie depending on where the band is placed or the fill level? Or is it all in our heads, and some people are better able to follow the bandster rules than others? Or (I hope not!) is obesity so heavily (no pun intended) genetically programmed into some people that bar being in a third world prison they would never lose weight?

This week

Another day, another dollar. .. .

I realise that now that I am at or around target weight, this blog could get boring. There isn't so much going on each week as there used to be.

Bunny, thanks for commenting, I am amazed you read all the way through my blog. You are right, I never thought I was getting anywhere until I did. . . it wasn't an easy trek.

Today I took a deep breath and jumped on the scales - nine stone eight pounds.

I was pleased, thought it would be worse. Ideally I'd be ten pounds lighter, but I can live with 9-8.

I had a follow up appt for my varicose veins today; short appointment, several painful injections that now look like bee stings all over my calves. Interesting to note that although I have a horrible family history and had one slight varicose vein when I was 19, I've never had them badly until I lost weight.

Apparently that is common - when you lose weight, you lose the fat which was supporting the veins and they collapse.

I will never have nice legs; but I hope I'll soon have less horrible ones. .

Today I had to go into central London, and between one thing and another, didn't manage to eat until 2.45pm. I had half a box of microwave chips with some cheese, then some salted cashews (can you see the fat??) (I did take Xenical since I'd eaten so much fat)

I'll have supper later, not sure what.

Back from the Brink

"If you feel you are losing control of your surgery specific food intake what pulls you back from the brink?"



That question was asked on the WLS Info Forum. This was my reply:



I take a deep breath, and give myself a stiff talking to, and go back to fluids only for a few days (or fluids mostly at least - milky coffee, soups, slim fast - that seems to break the snack-habit which is my commonest downfall)



My over eating is always emotion-related, and I've learned (or I am learning) to forgive myself for it, and just sit it out till I get over it, and then cut back to get my weight down a few pounds.In the past I'd have hated myself for gaining five pounds so I'd have eaten till I gained ten, then dieted like mad till I lost four and hated myself for not losing fourteen. . .



My band is a brilliant tool. It does stop me "self destructing" like I used to do, since I can't physically eat enough to gain a stone in a week (I used to be able to) (easily) I have a really slow/low metabolism, and can only eat about 800 cals a day without gaining weight. That is a sad fact of life. I don't think that will ever change. But now, with my band, it is much harder to eat 5,800 cals a day



What pulls me back from the edge? My band doesn't let me crash over the edge as fast as I used to. It's like a parachute - I still go over, but more slowly. And I'm learning that that is ok, so long as I get up again.

Maintenance

As far as maintaining my weight goes . . I'm not v good at it. I am constantly gaining a little then losing a little.

I love reading other bandster's blogs, it is always really inspiring to find out how other people are doing. Sara at http://saragetsskinny.blogspot.com/ makes some interesting points.

"Do a web search for weight loss related blogs, and you’ll turn up approximately a kajillion sites. Start clicking on them, however, and you’ll soon realize that the vast majority of them fall into two categories:

1. Relatively new blogs by people who are in the first several weeks or months (or days, even) of their current weight loss effort, and

2. Pages long abandoned with their last entries a static reminder of better times.

Given that weight loss is generally impermanent in nature, it makes sense that the websites it inspires are equally so. If statistics say that only about 3% of us will ever achieve the holy grail of weight watchers everywhere by taking (and keeping) the weight off, then it’s probably safe to assume that some 97% of weight loss bloggers will disappear along with the success they had at the scale. I understand this, but it still makes me sad."

I guess part of the reason I am going to keep this blog going is because I have been doing it for nearly two years. There aren't that many banding blogs out there which cover that length of time. And maybe this will be useful for someone who is starting out.

No pics today, sorry - but again, if you want to see before and after pics, leave a comment, or email me bandster@ntlworld.com

Update

Well, I'm back. Sort of. I gave up the other blog, I guess I wasn't happy about being so open online.

I guess at worst it's easy to imagine my mom reading my blog. No one I know IRL reads this. At least not as far as I know.

Maybe they do. At least they'd know I don't have terminal bowel cancer. Which is what they all imagine since I've lost so much weight for no reason . . . .

Anyway. . .

If anyone reads this and would like to see before and after pics - let me know, leave a comment. I am happy to share pics with real people who want to see them. Just not happy to put myself online for the world to see.

Kudos to those of you (Dash, Catherine, etc) who can. I can't.

Soz guys

The End

Not the end of my banding journey, but the end of this blog.

I am going to switch to a new blog, and will take this one down in a month's time.

I feel that there are far more people who read than comment and I am not sure why.

If you are interested in reading more , email me at bandster@ntlworld.com or leave a comment here, and I'll give you my new blog address. Sorry if this sounds paranoid, but I've been having some bad feedback in real life from things written on this blog.

PS

Have booked a band defill, I hope. It is early and I have a meeting, so if the doctor is late I will miss him. Hmmm.

Not that I really want a defill, but something has got to give, and I don't want it to be my band. Now to decide, how much to have out. . .

Struggling

The last week or so have been hard. Probably longer than that, actually. The hot weather has made my band tighter, and that has made me sicker which has irritated my stomach and made my band tighter.

So I seem to spend life hungry and tired, and never able to get proper food down, while nibbling constantly and not-good-for-you food - you know the stuff like crisps (chips) dip, nuts, ice cream and er anything liquid. Which is NOT good for me.

I am in the horrible position of being so restricted that I am "hardly eating" in terms of food, yet I have put on four pounds. I am now 9 stone 6. And growing, at this rate.

I have two choices, accept the tight band, go on to something like the Cambridge Diet/Slim Fast and get used to not eating food (not sure how that is going to work . . .) or have 1 mil out of my band to give myself a chance to eat real food and hopefully lose weight because I won't be eating so much junk.

Sigh.
This is not good. I am pbing constantly, like 20 times a day? I don't count,but everything I try to eat gets stuck; I'm sick, I get hungry, I try to eat, it gets stuck. . . and so it goes on.

I'm also getting heart burn/acid indigestion, which is *bad* - I never normally get this. I know it is from the irritation to my band/stomach caused by poor diet and pbing non stop. To explain how tight my band is, I just had some lovely (huh!) Gaviscon extra (for foreign readers, this is a thick, gloopy, mint tasting, chalk textured antacid) and even that is likely to come back up, since it is not clear liquid.

Boooo. I am having a bad day. Writing this helps. I'm looking into getting a defill on Friday, though that will be complicated cos I have a meeting to go to; and there is the problem that any defill is likely to make me gain weight really fast. And even if I have a defill now, I will have to have a refill soon. . . which is £200 down the drain.

I hate this yoyo-ing. It is as bad as being on diet. And it proves that my head issues are still well and truely there, and I've not learned anything really.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Maintaining slowly

I seem to be fairly settled at around 9 stone 3. That isn't to say it is easy, I wish, grin.

Because I am home based, I am around food all day. I can never eat a huge amount at once, but cos I can eat more later, then later then later, then again, I have to be careful that I'm not adding up calories without realising it.

I do find when I am out and about doing other things that I lose weight more easily - when I'm at home, I am more likely to take risks, and try to eat food that my band hates, or eat too much, cos if I am sick at home it isnt the worst disaster.

However when I'm out with friends or anywhere other than home, I am much more careful and don't overeat, and I find I'm likely to lose a couple of pounds that week. . .

Moral of the story - stay home moms have more probs with bands :-)

Found some photos

Found some old photos of myself injecting blood thinners after surgery, don't think I've posted them before - pretty scary stuff!

My stomach is currently pretty horrible. But at least it doesn't look like this any more. . .

Biggest Loser

Been watching the TV program, UK version. I am about ten days behind, cos I never have time to watch it in real time, so always see it on catch up tv. . .

They had this episode where they had to pick up the weight in fat of what they'd lost. It looked huge and heavy.

I've lost . . (6 x 14) + . . . . nearly 90 pounds. (or 38 kg). Wow. Would NOT like to see that in fat that I had to pick up and carry around.

That is the weird thing about weight loss surgery. You lose weight almost so slowly that you dont notice it. If you read back on this blog I had times where I wasn't losing, or where I was fed up cos I didn't seem to be losing fast enough, I felt I was going nowhere, etc.

But now, 18 months on; wow. I am a lot lighter than I was. I don't actually look fat any more.. . .

Hard for me to say that, my mind hasn't yet caught up with my body.

Low blood sugar?

The other day I had a weird experience.

I don't normally do much exercise - to be honest, I do none at all. I am absolutely sedentary and don't like going upstairs more than a couple of times a day if I can help it.

Was out with friends last week, and went for a brisk 20 minute walk. Then for a swim and then to a sauna and steam room. Then a 20 min walk home. By the time (noon) we got back, I was beginning to feel dreadful.

All I'd eaten all day was one cup of coffee. I felt really nauseous, sick, dizzy and weak. And kind of spaced out? Like I wasn't in touch with reality.

I had felt ok while swimming, though I'd found the brisk walk quite tiring, esp on the way home, and found it hard to keep making conversation while walking (getting out of breath).

I had to go out of the steam room cos I felt dizzy,but thought it was just the heat.

But the sick/weak/weird feeling kept on for ages. In the end I thought it might be low sugar, so I managed to drink some fruit juice; then some more.

I felt worse and worse and began to wonder if I was going to have to call an ambulance. . I couldn't eat any food, but thought that fruit juice might help my blood sugar levels.

Eventually it did. Wow was I grateful to start feeling "normal" again.

And I will never ever exercise on an empty stomach again!

Photos

I've put pictures of myself pre and post op on to a separate private blog; if you want to see them, leave your email address and I'll send you an invitation.

Starving

For no obvious reason I am starving. It's 0930, and I've been awake for 4 hrs. Had two cups of coffee since waking and starting to nibble pistachio nuts, but decided to think what I really want to eat. . .

A tin of these! Thankfully we live near a supermarket, so I can go to get some before lunch. My stomach is rumbling at the thought!

Friday 19th

And 8 stone 13.9 pounds this morning, which surprised me cos I feel like I've been pigging out a bit lately. Maybe it's dehydration cos of the warm weather (beautiful here in the South of England).

Still debating about posting personal photos here. .

Oops

It is Wednesday again and I haven't updated this week. Not sure how much I weigh (can't often say that) cos I've not been on the scales for a few days. I was down to 9 stone 0.3 pounds on Friday. I'd like to get under 9 stone, but since then I've eaten too much.

I didn't have to eat it, but I did. Sigh. I realise now that I am in maintenance mode; not trying to lose or gain weight, just stay sort of level. It isn't easy, I think it is easier to be losing rather than standing still.

My diet is not the world's healthiest, but over the weekend I did well. I had a girls' night out with a couple of friends on Friday and Saturday. We had dinner at an amazing restaurant (http://www.yauatcha.com/) which served up small portions of food, so I was able just to pick and choose what I wanted.

I don't think any of the others there noticed what I was or wasn't eating. Two of the friends who were at dinner know about my band, but we didn't discuss it. One of them did tell me (she's a good friend!) that she reckoned I looked more like 10 stone than 9 stone. (???!!!).

She is probably right, since people are always surprised how light I am for my size; I think I have light bones or something.

I'm still not really used to the fact that I am 9 stone something, instead of 200 pounds. I was reading an old journal last night, I was 14 stone 9 and really trying to lose weight. At that point in time I'd never heard of gastric banding. But I had been dieting all my life.

I am so glad that I found a way out of the endless cycle of "gain-lose-struggle-lose-gain-regain"

I've thought about posting photos here. . . .but I am nervous in case anyone who knows me in real life and doesn't know about this blog stumbles across it and recognises me.. . hmmmm.

If anyone wants pics (The Dash?) you can leave your email address in a comment and I'll send some privately. Or am I just being paranoid, does it really matter if real life people find this blog?

Not sure.

A Scale Victory

Finally discovered what NSV and SV mean - as found on lots of other bandsters blogs. . .

Scale or Non Scale Victory.

Today was an SV. I was 9 stone 0.8 pounds. I do think that I have lost a couple of pounds because I had a horrendous dental appointment the other day and really could not eat afterwards. I had some meal replacement drinks, and plenty fluids, but couldn't eat. Still can't eat properly, my mouth is swollen and sore. . ouchie.

I look like Donald(a) Duck. Not funny, esp since I am meeting friends at the weekend, for a fairly important girlie night out together, followed by a trip to Queen's Tennis Club.

I really don't want to go there looking like Donalda Duck, no one is going to notice weight loss when my lower face is swollen like I've been hit by a bus.

I hope the swelling goes down.

So it has been a good week, scales wise, but not so good in other ways.

Monday

Nine stone two point 8 pounds.

Better than it has been lately. I am glad. But having said that I have had a rotten day today, eaten too much of the wrong stuff. I have this thing about garlic and herb dip. Which is really just mayonnaise (liquid fat) with garlic flavoring . . .

I like to nibble tortilla chips dipped in garlic and herb dip. Sigh. Millions of calories. I really really need to get out of this habit.

Diet right now is like this:

Morning: decaff coffee with milk and a biscuit (100 cals)

Lunchtime: nothing, maybe coffee, but am generally not hungry.

Mid afternoon: chips, dip and lean chicken fillets (chicken is 150 per pack and it takes me ages to eat; chips are 500 per pack; dip is 1000 cals per tub. Eeeeeek. I can get through a tub in a day or maybe two)

Evening: I just continue with the above (cos I won't have finished it) and , maybe add some chocolate in.

I do cheat and take Orlistat every meal . . .to get rid of some of the excess fat I am taking in.

Not exactly a balanced diet. In fact when I write it down it looks terrrrrible.

Strange; pre banding I ate tons and tons of vegetables; I always had this thing about vegetables, I loved them. Broccoli, carrots, brussel sprouts, onions, cucumber, tomatoes, peppers, lettuce, even boiled cabbage. . .

Now I can't eat veg, unless it is mushed beyond belief. Sometimes I manage carrot and corriander soup.

(pre band I ate lots more, not just veg, lol, didn't get to being 15 stone 3 by just eating veg)

I've never been a fruit eater. Hate it. Would rather eat cauliflower than an apple. And definitely prefer brussel sprouts over bananas. Weird, eh?

Am hoping to improve my blog, make it more interesting, chatty and add in some pics. I want to thank two bloggers, The Dash; and The NYC Attorney; your blogs are inspirational. I hope to learn from you.

Weight

I am 9 stone 4. I was this weight in January. I don't know whether to be happy that I am maintaining at at sensible weight, or depressed cos I've not got very far in 6 months!

I suppose I did have a de fill which made me gain nearly a stone, and I've managed to get rid of that. But I'd like to lose more. . .

Also feel bad that I post so few photos :-) Will try to improve, otherwise this can be a bit boring to read!

My port

My port is on my left hand side, above my waist and below my ribs. This picture shows it during my last trip to Belgium

Erm, you can also see my desperate need for a tummy tuck :-)

Update

Sorry so long in posting again. .

My weight has stablised around 9 stone 4, which is ok, though ideally I'd like to lose another seven pounds and get back to 8-12 which I was in March. But if I can't that is ok.

I am the first to admit that I am *not* the world's greatest bandster. I'm probably one of the worst :-) I do often eat too much or too fast or the wrong food, and end up pbing mildly on a daily basis.

But last night. . .

Something weird and terrifying happened last night. Had a normal sort of day, eating the normal sort of foods, had a couple of minor pbs (I don't get pain, I just burp food back up when I am too full).

(That is how pbing is for me; food comes up very gently and easily; I don't hardly notice it unless I have to rush out of polite company suddenly. I can tell when it is going to happen and just excuse myself normally, so it isn't a big deal in my life it I bring food back up again.)

Then around 7pm I had some (very) distressing news and spent the next couple of hours quite upset. Didn't eat or drink anything much (not that I remember, I might have picked at some left over chicken I'd had for supper . . ).

Went to bed at midnight, and woke at 2am with a fearfully sore back, I thought. (I get back pain sometimes - have Tramadol for when it is bad). I was horrified at having such severe back pain.

Then I realised it was my upper left chest area that hurt, not my back. It was my band area that was hurting. Really really hurting. I couldn't lie down or sit up or get comfortable. I could feel pain like a knife in my chest. Was worried it might have been a heart attack, but the pain wasn't in my arms or jaw.

I really didn't know what to do - visions of a band eroding into my stomach, internal bleeding, dying etc, flashed before my eyes. I managed to drink some water, and it went down ok, but the pain was too severe for me to risk painkillers, in case my band had slipped and they would aggrevate the situation.

Then I started to get hiccups and I could feel my stomach hurting round where my band is. It was sooooo painful.

Finally, over the next hour or so, I pb'd some chicken I'd eaten at 5pm. I was so relieved when the pain passed, but I was so scared.

I was sure my band had slipped. Do you think it did?

Today I've been on fluids only to give my stomach a rest.Wow, if people normally feel like that when they pb no wonder they avoid it like the plague.

I wonder what happened. I really really don't want it to happen again!

Progress

I think I am making some progress. Not eating too much, good restriction, and I've lost a couple of pounds.

I do need to be careful of overeating foods which just come straight back up again (long term pbing = band damage). And I need to be careful not to overeat high cal "slider" foods which go through my band easily. Though having said that, I don't think there is much, other than clear liquids, which will go through my band easily right now. . .

Another fill

After a 1 mil fill last week, I really don't feel I that I have much more restriction. So I kept a previously made appointment and went for another fill with Dr Chris.

He wasn't convinced I needed it but let me have 0.5mil - though he said he won't let me have any more, he said he had thought previously that I had lost too much weight.

Huh! That should be my decision.

It was interesting being at his London Clinic in Upper Wimpole Street. Lots of other bandsters there with different stories.

I now have 6 mils in my 10 mil band; and am a bit miffed that Dr C more or less said that this is the last fill he will give me. I need to work with this restriction, not against it.

Not eaten much today - made the mistake of going to the appointment at 1530 without having had any real food, and afterwards I could only have soup (and chips and dip)

My restriction is nowhere like it was after my January fill last year. (when I went from 1 mil to 5 mils over night).

Weight wise, I never really understand how Dr Chris works it out, I was 60kg this morning, first thing, no clothes, and yet he made me 59kg in the afternoons with a heavy denim skirt on . .

Back to basics, keep drinking water, keep off high cal foods like pistachio nuts and onion and garlic dip; and get plenty protein in.

And avoid being sick. Scared I'll damage my band or pouch if I am sick too much

This is the Nectar Protein Drink I mentioned in my last post
It mixes up into a blue froth. Doesn't taste too bad :-)

Monday

Was up to 9 stone 13 on Friday, and had 1 mil fill.

Monday, I am 9 stone 7, so something must be working. I don't feel very much restriction, but am trying to cut down and stop as soon as I feel full. I didn't last very long on just soup and fluids so on Sunday had some real food, but not very much.

Need to keep taking my vitamins, protein drink (bleugh - ok it isn't too horrible, but it does take a while to drink it. I bought Nectar on the recommendation of Carol Mac on WLSInfo Forums, but probably the "Crystal Sky" (my choice) wasn't the best flavour to go for, it's bright blue and bubblegum flavoured.

Update

I should keep this more up to date, it is helpful to me to look back and see what I went through previously.

Had one mil taken out of my band on April 4th - I'd thought i was losing restriction and wanted a fill, but slight pouch swelling meant a defill.

I started gaining weight with a vengeance - by May 8th I was up to 9-13 (from 8 - 12 on April 4th)

I had planned on going to Belgium on May 8/9th, but due to family committments, I couldn't. Instead I went to a new fill provider, Marc Focquet, in London.

He is also Belgian, and very nice. He went through my history with me (a shortened version, I skipped the bit about scarlet fever last summer), and gave me a 1 mil fill.

Have to say he didn't seem to find doing the fill as simple as Dr Chris does, but then he didn't fit my port, and I think he might place them differently.

It hurt more than it normally does - like someone said it feels like a cork popping - ouch.

I was able to drink all the water he gave me, which was disappointing - when I'm well filled I can only sip liquids, rather than glug them.

Now, 24 hrs later, I dont' feel like I've had much of a fill at all. Can still glug water, and last night had a bad spate of eating for England (though I was sticking to liquids, so maybe I should say drinking for England :-)

Let's see what this week brings. Some weight loss I hope!

Getting fat and scared

I was banded in Dec 07 and after quite a few fills finally began to lose weight (at 5.5mils in a 10 mil band)

In March this yr I felt I was losing restriction and putting on weight, so booked a fill with my surgeon, Chris de Bruyne.

He did an xray and said that my pouch was slightly dilated, and *un filled* my band 1 mil.

That was April 3rd; he said I'd be ok for a refill in four weeks.It's five weeks tomorrow.

In that time I've gained 15 pounds.

I am not able to get back to Belgium, and he isn't in London till May 15th, so in desperation I am going to see Marc Focquet for a fill tomorrow

I just have absolutely NO restriction, hardly.

I can drink 2 litres of water without stopping to breath, far less swallow.

Looking back my normal restriction level wouldn't let me drink more than 100 mls without stopping for a bit.I am gaining weight by the day.

But my biggest fear is that Dr Marc Focquet won't let me have a fill, cos my BMI is still in normal range.I am gaining weight so fast it is terrifying.

Will report back. If he won't give me the 1 mil back, I guess I'll have to try someone else.I have GOT to get restriction back, or this will just have been yet another mad crazy crash diet. . . Soz to moan. It's that time of night

Oh no

Oh no, here we go. I've put on 5 pounds since Friday morning. How is that possible? I know I am eating more, but didn't think it was *that* much more, and I've been exercising too

Need to get my refill bookd asap :-(

Off to sulk in a corner . .

Misery

This is soooo not what I wanted to say.

Went to Belgium yesterday to see CDB cos I wanted a tiny fill, although my band is pretty tight, I havent' lost weight for a month.

He wasn't impressed with me. Told me I was dehydrated and losing muscle not fat; needed to eat more protein and had prob lost too much weight. (not fat, just weight)

HUH?? Ok, I know there are BMI charts etc, but I am still fat round the bust,back and lower legs.

Then (and I so did not want this to happen!) he xrayed my band, and I saw that my pouch is swelling a little. More than a little.

So he promptly decided on a 1 mil de-fill for 4 - 6 weeks.

I am only at 4.50 mls now.

Last time I had a defill I went from 5.75mls to 4.75mls and in four weeks gained 10 pounds. . .

May 16 08 I had 5.75mils and was defilled to 4.75mils

During the time between May 16th and June 20th, when I had 4.75 mils in my band, I gained 10 pounds, going from 12 stone 2 to 12 stone 12.

June 20 08 I was refilled with 0.75

And since June 08 I had 5.50mils in my band; and have gone from 12 stone 12 to 8 stone 12 (9 months to lose four stone).

And now I feel like all that has been yanked out from under me, I have no restriction at all, and am terrified that in four/six weeks I will have gained 20kg.

Help help help.

How do I cope with this? Dr Chris as ever is kind, competent, but efficient; I didn't have a hope of arguing with him, nor of pointing out that I *like* the weight I'm at.

On the other hand I can see that my pouch is dilating, I've been vomitting too much lately, and I do desperately lack muscle tone.

So although I am terrified, I realise he is right. My restriction (I only got back from Belgium a few hours ago)already seems to have disapppeared. Completely.

Cambridge Diet here I come. If I can. And I am going to book a refill asap.

And since I never travel without my camera; here is CDB's house:

and consulting clinic - the side entrance In his waiting room, a model of a gastric band. Very interesting to see.The Campanille Hotel:

Brussels was very cold this time: took refuge in McDonalds for coffee and some breakfast:

McDonalds is pretty impressive in Brussels. More so than in New York City; or central London.
They haven't had McDonalds in Belgium for long, well, only since 1978

then finally, after a long trek, arrived back in St Pancras.

As for the future, next 4 - 6 weeks.

I am frankly terrified.

Size matters

New look. .

Well, new measurements anyway.

Found this from an old post, 13 months ago, Feb 29 08: (I was about 13 stone then, down from 14-8 pre op; I was 10 wks post op)


. OK so I have a waist of 46, hips of 41 and bust 47, which makes me a waist size 24 (and I'm in danger of heart disease cos my waist is bigger than my hips); hip size 20, and bust 22.

Well, since I am sitting here not doing much, killing time till I have to get up and go to Belgium tomorrow morning, I took some measurements.

Waist 31, hips 33.5 and bust 39 inches

Hmmm. Other than my hips I am kind of appalled how big I am, since I am 8 stone 12 with a BMI of 19.

But an enormous bust! Tried to look this up online; it seems I have UK size 16 bust and waist, but a size 8 bottom. Hmmm.

Anyone out there know more about sizes than me?

Maintenance

I guess I am into the phase where I want to maintain my weight loss, rather than lose any more weight.

And that is really really hard, since I've been either gaining or losing weight all my life, I can't imagine having the same figure show up on the scale every day. (or week)

I don't know how to handle this. I am just under 9 stone most days, but up and down. And I am terrified of regaining weight.

My restriction has loosened a little and that is letting me eat too much. I need to get a small fill soon, am going to Belgium on April 4th.

Hope I've not put on too much weight by then.

It got worse

I got up to 9 stone 5 the other day. I was worried. I didn't want to weigh myself the last week.

But today I was 9.2 again. Hmmm.

Doesn't seem any logic to it. Keep cutting out what I don't really want to eat, and make every calorie count.

It didn't last

I guess that low weight was just a blip, I must be have been dehydrated or something, since I immediately shot up to 9-3 the next day.

And struggling to stay there. I am not sure what I am doing wrong, but I am beginning to creep up the scale again. Well, I know what I am doing wrong,but not that it is any different.

I guess the lighter I am the fewer calories I need to keep losing.

Dithering about dental treatment that can't be done till I've finished losing weight. Should I start it now?

Or am I realistically hoping to lose any more? Hmmm. Not sure of the answer

Hooray

Hit another milestone. I know it is probably temporary and I'll be two pounds heavier tomorrow, but for today, for the first time in donkeys years, I am under 9 stone.

EIGHT STONE TWELVE (.6) POUNDS

Woo hoo.

Cutting down on my snacking has helped, I'm still taking CD supplements once or twice a day. Got a rotten head cold too. But nothing is going to get me down today :-)))))

Feb 26th

Oops that last post was a bit of a whinge. I've made a more positive effort to cut down on snacking and nibbles and today I was nine stone 2.4 pounds this am.

Wow. Pleased, considering how all over the place I've been this month.

Haven't done any more exercise though. Maybe later today.

Exercise

Weight loss is dismal - ie I haven't lost an ounce. I go between 9 -6 on a bad day, 9 - 4 on a good, but have never hit 9-3 again. I am still obsessive about weighing myself.

I still hate how I look, how much I weigh, etc.

45 mins on Sat
55 mins on Mon
30 mins on Mon

on exercise bike.

It hurts my tailbone like mad. And altho it might tone my thighs, I serious doubt I'll lose any weight. Exercise class this week. Oh yeah, I have no great expectations of it; might take coffee with me to keep me awake. . . .

Valentine's Day

Well, two weeks later, I am a little further forward, I hope. I m around 9-4 most days, and got down to 9-3 the other day, which was the lowest I've been since I got married. Only another pound to go and I'll be the same weight I was when I got married.

It isnt' all plain sailing. In fact it isn't plain sailing a all. It has been quite miserable at times, I think my biggest worry just now is malnutrition - my diet is appalling sometimes and I need to take more vitamins more regularly.

Doc ran some blood tests to check my thyroid, and they've come b ack abnormal - as usual. . .

Not impressed

I guess I thought I'd be doing better by now, but I have since gotten up to 9-6point 8, then hovering around 9-5 and 9-5 point 8 which I was this morning.

I'm absolutely terrified of putting on weight. If I don't lose weight two weeks in a row, then I am in trouble. I feel like I am in trouble.

I need to lose a bit more weight.

My dentist wants to start some work, but won't start until I agree that my weight loss has stopped and that my weight will remain stable

I really really really want to lose another stone before I decide this is where I am happy to be. But weight is coming off so slowly - or not at all, in the last few weeks.

Back to basics
Back to basics
Back to basics

I know what I have to do, it is just doing it that is hard!

Had to post this

Had to post this picture.

But look at my ankles???? What do I do??

Do you think liposuction would work?

More reflections on the past

In 1999 I'd been dieting all my life. Can't remember when I first started using Slim Fast, but in 1999 I splashed out £18-99 on something called "Fat Magnets" - Chitosan.

I remember asking the very slim shop assistant if they worked and she just looked down her nose at me and said "I wouldn't know" with as much distaste as she could muster. I was 12 stone 6, BMI 27. Hardly disgustingly fat.

It didn't work.

About a year later and a stone heavier hit on the idea of eating prepacked (and not cheap!)Weightwathchers Ready Meals.

Didn't lose much weight

In May 2002, weight 194 pounds ( or 13 stone 12) I finally cracked and bought Xenical Online. Cost me a fortune (can't remember now, but they weren't cheap at all).

I remember the relief flooding over my whole body when I realised that I was finally going to be thin. The battle was finally over, it was not longer up to me or to will power. A lttle blue pill was going to fix it)

If only it were that simple. There are no easy ways to fight obesity.

WOW

I know I'll probably go up a little again, but today I was shocked and delighted to be NINE STONE FIVE (point 2) POOUNDS.

That is very very very light for me; and gets me with 3 lbs of the weight I was when I got married nearly 19 yrs ago.

No other diet or weight loss program has ever taken me near this. (Well I did get down to 9-3 15 yrs ago, but then I'd only got up to 11stone to start with at that point, and it didnt' last long) (checked my diary: on 6th April 1994 was down to 9 stone 6; not 9-3)

So I am now lighter than I was nearly 15 yrs ago

I thought I'd have gained weight cos my eating has not been great - pistachio nuts for protein; tortilla chips and dip cos I like it, lots and lots of water, and the odd glass of wine or bar of chocolate. Combined with a fair bit of food not staying down I guess

Not the healthy option.but worth it for the magic numbers on the scale.

Starting exercise next week; a little nervous; more than a lttle. Scared I'll collapse through being so unfit, or faint cos I have low blood pressure. And irrationally that I'll put on weight cos muscle weighs more than fat; though I doubt I can gain that much muscle. And that I'll be hungrier after exercise and therefore eat more and gain weight.

It is just hard to believe that I am actually this thin. . .

Update

My laptop is playing up - the touch pad is not working and my "old" mouse (which was a new improved version) isn't working either. But I pinched a mouse from one of the kids' PCs and here I am

Since I last posted my weight went up to 9-10.8, then down again last night (yay!) to 9-7.6, so I am slowly moving down. Not sure that I'll lose much this month, but every little helps.

My restriction is mostly quite good. Or bad, I mean severe. I don't often go out so I am usually at home and pbing doesn't mean too much, it's not a big deal.

Went away for the night to a friend's house, and realised how often I need to be careful or I *would* pb. Thankfully she knows about my op and didn't worry when I excused myself to the bathroom once or twice. But I didn't manage to eat a lot while I was there.

Makes me realise that if I kept off snacks and grazing (she's a three meals day and no snacks type) I'd lose weight a lot more quickly.

I'm pleased how much weight I've lost, but no idea how much weight I'd like to lose eventually. I also have no idea how I am going to cope with getting to the maintenance stage of a gastric band.

And I know I have to up my exercise a lot.

Woo Hoooooo!

This morning, no clothes on, I was nine stone nine point four pounds. That is lighter than I've been for years and years and years.

Seems like another psychological barrier has gone, getting below 9-1o/9-11, both which seemed to me like I was about to shoot up to ten stone again any minute.

I know from past experience it is two steps forward, one back; so maybe tomorrow I'll be 9-10 or 9-11 again, but I hope I am slowly inching my way towards goal.

Excited? Yes. I am irrationally thrilled at losing a few ounces. Which is all it is really, a pound is only 16 ounces. But it means a lot to me to be 135+ pounds.

Wow, better than 212 which is the highest I think I got to. (15 stone 3)

I love my gastric band :-))))))))))))))